The Welly Pull, the Zip and the Proud Little Grin: Ten Independence Wins Worth Cheering
Photo: Frank H. Nowell, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
There is a particular look that comes over a small child when they finally pull a welly on by themselves. It is part triumph, part surprise, and usually followed by a request that you admire the foot in question. At Dryden Street Nursery, we see that look a lot. It is one of the best parts of the job.
Independence in the early years does not arrive in one big leap. It turns up in tiny, slightly wonky steps: a coat half on, a lunchbox lid opened with enormous concentration, a child carrying their own bag to the gate with the strap trailing on the floor. These moments matter. They are how children begin to see themselves as capable people who can have a go.
Ten tiny wins we cheer for
1. Pulling on a welly. It might be on the wrong foot. It might take three attempts and a lot of tongue-out concentration. But getting a boot on is a proper job for a small person, and it deserves a bit of ceremony.
2. Hanging up a coat. Aiming for the peg, missing, trying again, and finally hooking it on is a real achievement. It also helps children learn where their things belong, which makes the next transition a little smoother.
3. Opening a lunchbox lid. Those clips can be stiff. Watching a child work out how to press and lift without tipping the whole box is a masterclass in patience, for them and for us.
4. Pouring a drink. With a small jug and a bit of supervision, many children can pour their own water at snack. It is rarely neat. It is always worth it.
5. Wiping a nose. Reaching for a tissue, having a go, and putting it in the bin is a small self-care routine that builds real confidence. It is also a useful skill for the winter months.
6. Choosing and carrying their own bag. Even if they need help with the zip, choosing their bag and carrying it to the door gives a child a sense of ownership over their day.
7. Taking off shoes and putting them together. A pair of shoes lined up by the door is a little act of order. It helps children understand routines and look after their own things.
8. Asking for help. This one surprises some grown-ups, but independence is not only about doing things alone. Knowing when to say ‘I need help’ is a confident move, not a failure.
9. Tidying one thing away. Not the whole room. Just one puzzle, one book, one set of blocks. A small tidy-up job that a child chooses and finishes is a proper contribution.
10. Trying again after a wobble. The zip that will not do up. The shoe that will not go on. The child who takes a breath and has another go has practised something more valuable than the task itself.
Why we do not rush to help
In a busy room, it is tempting to swoop in and do it for them. We all do it. A child is taking ages with their coat, the garden is waiting, and it would be quicker to just pull the sleeve through. But rushing in can quietly tell a child that the job is too hard for them, or that a grown-up will always finish it.
At nursery, we try to build in time for these small tasks, especially around outdoor play. The cloakroom is often where independence gets practised, because everyone needs boots, coats and a bit of patience before they can get to the sandpit. Staff will often model the step, then step back. They might say, ‘You are working hard on that zip,’ rather than taking over. They might offer a choice: ‘Do you want to try the left boot first, or the right?’ They might simply wait, nearby, while a child works it out.
That does not mean leaving a child to struggle alone. Support might be a hand to hold the coat open, a reminder of where the other arm goes, or a calm ‘let us try together.’ The aim is to help just enough, then let the child take the last bit themselves.
Keeping it kind at home
Independence at home works best when it is not turned into a test. Choose a few small jobs that fit naturally into the day. Let your child have a go at pulling on their own wellies before a walk. Put a low hook by the door if you can. Keep a small jug by the sink for water play. Practise opening the lunchbox at the kitchen table before a nursery day, when there is no rush and no audience.
Allow extra time. A child who is learning to dress themselves will not be quick, and that is fine. Offer choices rather than instructions: ‘Do you want to carry your bag or push the pushchair?’ Praise the effort more than the result: ‘You kept trying with that lid.’ And if they ask for help, give it without a lecture. Asking for help is part of the skill too.
Some days, they will want to do everything themselves. Other days, they will want you to do it all. That is normal. The aim is not a perfectly independent three-year-old. It is a child who feels safe enough to have a go, and who knows there is a grown-up nearby if it all goes a bit wobbly.
The small stuff is the big stuff
At Dryden Street, we celebrate the welly pull, the zip, the lunchbox lid and the proud little grin that follows. These moments are not just about getting dressed or eating snack. They are about children learning that they can make things happen. That is a big idea, built out of very small steps.
